In this edition:
1 Question worth asking
How to INTRODUCE it in your team
How to DEVELOP it
How to use RELATIONSHIPS to harness it
Something just for you COACH/LEADER
WHY this matters
Growing up in southeast Arkansas, we often used a 3 word call to action that is also a question of your intent, integrity, and grit, “Where you at?” It can be interpreted as “Who are you?” “What do you intend to get done?” and “Isn’t it about time to get down to business?” The question brings with it a sense of urgency that usually signals that some sort of conflict is about to start. And so, I pose this of you in regard to the mission you should be starting to center yourself. Are you where you want to be? Are you who you want to be? And if either answer is no, well….. WHERE YOU AT?
- Coach Castillo
When Chuck Norris goes camping, he doesn't bring a map. He just tells the wilderness where he is going. BE LIKE CHUCK NORRIS, tell the “wilderness” where you’re going.
Intro
There’s a question that matters more than your next board meeting, strategy call, practice plan, or game strategy.
A question every leader should sit with — not quickly, not casually, but deliberately:
Where are you?
Where are you in your faith?
Where are you in your growth?
Where are you in your life?
Where are you in your leadership?
Not busy.
Not productive.
Not occupied.
But where are you — really?
This question isn’t meant to make you feel behind.
It’s meant to make you present.
It’s a call to action — to stop answering for everyone else, to stop using your stats or ROI as your personal metrics, and to answer for yourSELF.
"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." — Aristotle
Values-Anchored Leaders create higher engagement and trust: Values-driven organizations have higher employee engagement, retention, and trust, because people feel cared for and connected to something bigger than a number.
Develop
Where You Are Right Now
To lead others well, you must first know where you stand.
In Your Faith:
Are you living your beliefs or simply reciting them?
Is your faith anchoring you — or just echoing in your routine?
In Your Self-Growth:
Are you growing intentionally — reading, reflecting, investing —
or running on autopilot with yesterday’s lessons?
In Your Life:
Is your heart at peace? Is your presence available to the people who matter most?
In Your Leadership:
Are you influencing with intention — or just responding to crisis after crisis?
As leaders, it’s easy to get swept into motion.
But motion ≠ direction.
Action Step:
Identify one area where you see tension between where you are and where you want to be — and take one intentional step this week to close that gap.
For more self reflection you can also download this free e-book and starting asking that person in the mirror the questions that matter.
"If you do not know where you come from, then you don't know where you're going." — Unknown
When leaders model core values consistently, research shows teams experience higher trust, better communication, and psychological safety — all essential for innovation and resilience.
Relationships
How Relationships Anchor the Answers
Here’s the truth most leaders discover too late:
You don’t truly know where you are until your relationships reveal it.
Relationships are mirrors — not always flattering, always revealing.
They show your patience when it’s tested.
They reveal your presence when you think you’re giving it.
They expose gaps between your words and your actions.
And the most effective leaders don’t just lead relationships — they anchor them.
They create spaces where people can be honest, broken, growing, and accountable.
When you:
listen with humility,
ask before instructing,
serve more than you assume,
you create clarity for others to see where they are — and clarity for you to see the same.
Action Step:
Choose two relationships this week to ask real questions — and then listen for real answers. And the number 1 relationship to start with….. is the one with yourself.
"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom." — Lao Tzu
Values-Based Leaders tend to build cultures that are resilient and adaptable because they’re rooted in shared beliefs and trust — a foundation for long-term sustainability.
Just For You
Ask yourself:
Where am I on the inside — not just on the schedule?
What truth is my leadership revealing about me?
What’s one place I need growth that I’ve been avoiding?
Am I anchoring others — or just directing them?
Leadership isn’t defined by busyness.
It’s defined by impact.
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." — Mahatma Gandhi
Values-Anchored Leadership = having a reliable compass (direction).
Outcomes-Anchored Leadership = having a map to a destination but without checking if you’re even pointing the right way.
Why This Matters
Because when you know where you are…
You lead with clarity, not reaction.
You serve with compassion, not habit.
You build people, not followers.
You steward influence, not control.
This question — Where Are You? — isn’t a one-and-done.
It’s the compass that keeps you aligned.
It’s the mirror that refines you.
It’s the foundation of leadership that lasts.
And when leaders know where they stand,
they lead others to stand — stronger, wiser, and more anchored.
About a year ago my daughters got their own car and began driving alone. One of them had decided to go to a study group about 30 minutes away. When the session ended it was dark and she wasn’t aware of the road names or landmarks in the dark. So, she did what anyone would currently do, used a mapping app on her phone. She called in a panic, crying, and very distraught. She’d pulled over into a dark parking lot of a business an hour away from home. She’d entered our address…… but the wrong zip code. My wife provided the clarity she needed. And so it is with life & leadership. We can have the best intentions, and seemingly best direction to be headed in. But, if we lose sight of where we’re anchored, our “home base,” we can end up lost, in the dark, and not leading anyone — especially ourselves.
Do you know a leader, coach, or friend who’d enjoy this newsletter? Pass it along! Send me an email at [email protected] and I’ll send you a highly effective teammate connection assessment tool!
Coach Castillo’s Challenge of The Week: Answer this question RIGHT NOW: Who are you at your core? Now for another one: Have you deviated from that in any way, thought, word, or behavior? If so, now you know where you are…. and it ain’t “home base.” Spend the week treating & leading yourself and others in a manner that is TRUE of who you are. You’re liable to find that your GPS will re-route you and have you headed “home.”
Lead, Live, Play Beautiful
Have A Blessed Week,
